"The universe is reinventing me right now."
"I'm not a feminist or any -ist. That's the problem, when you go too far that's when you become kind of robots and soldiers to causes that are unnecessary. I'm just a humanist, a person who is concerned with the growth of us as people."
"There is no particular route or way that people are supposed to go, not one path... Some people marry early, some people marry later. I think with relationships, every relationship I've been in and any of these women, when you fall in love, you really respect someone and have a great chemical connection you expect it to be something that last forever-everever, you do. But sometimes people change and if you don't chemically match, you move on and the easier you can do that, the more you can grow."
"We have to grow at our own rate, and it's not a race to be the most mature."
"I eat like a vegan, but I'm not a member of any organization."
"When you meet someone, I don't fight it. If there's something there, it doesn't mean you're supposed to be in a relationship necessarily. It might mean there's something that you're supposed to exchange, a place that you can help the person go, or a place that they can help you go. It doesn't necessarily mean a relationship every time. When I was much younger I thought that though. I thought that every time I felt this energy between someone that it meant oh he's my boyfriend now... it's the way I was taught."
"Evolving requires elimination. You have to eliminate the things that no longer evolve you."
"For Sampha, the prize is to keep learning. He’d like to become a better piano player. He wants to learn more about harmony and rhythm. He dreams about producing albums for other artists. Perhaps he’ll write a musical someday. Maybe he’d even like to design clothes. “I just wanna really sort of push my brain,” he says. “I wanna make things feel more magic to me, like how I felt when I was younger. When you grow older, you just try and work harder to find the magic in life.”"
Source: The Fader
Kid Cudi- Surfin'
D.R.A.M.- Outta Sight
Chaz French Feat GoldLink- Ready
Teedra Moses- Be Your Girl (Katraynada Remix)
Kelis Feat. Andre 3000- Millionaire
NxWorries- Lyk Dis
Amerie- Why Don't We Fall In Love (Katraynada Remix)
Raury- Like A Star
S U R F I N G- Lifetime
Kid Cudi- Dat New New
Hello Princess Nokia. Where have you been all my life??
The time has come! After four years since her last release, Solange is finally dropping new music tomorrow!
Solange is special to me.
She played a crucial part in my most recent heart ache recovery. I named my heartbreak hotel playlist "Don't Do Me Any Favors" after one of her songs and actually fought the urge to fill it with her entire True album.
In celebration of new jams (hopefully good), I'd like to take this moment to highlight every Solange song that got me in my feelings, that I played religiously in hour long showers (sorry earth) and just helped me deal and feel not crazy.
But see I only wanted to be, be your girl
To love you in the ways you never know
But you can't love me, No you can't love
If you don't even love yourself
Oh I still wanna be there
But I got more enough in reasons
To see this ain't our season
I should be leavin'
Oh these leaves dancing in the dark
But you got my heart
And I don't want us to part baby
You're sweeter than spring
Nobody's ever been more
I know you'd give me the shirt off of your shoulders
You'd give me the world
But then T.O.N.Y called me one day
He said that he just called to say "hey"
And it wasn't until he called me back
That I realized I needed more than that
I'm a lot wiser and a little older
Hey baby it was nice to know ya
Tell me the truth boy, am I losing you for good?
We used to kiss all night, but now there's just no use
I don't know why I fight it, clearly we are through
Tell me the truth boy, am I losing you for good?
I know you're waiting for the rest that you can't get from me
Just treat me good and baby I'll give you the rest of me
I'm not the one, that you should be making your enemy
I'm not the one, that you should be making your enemy
I've seen you with the lights off
I've seen you and you think you love me
I've seen you with your hat off
I'm dreaming of a time you knew me
So baby, is it all you've got?
Tell me if you got some more
I'm thinking of some time off, off
I'm dreaming of a time that you knew me
Some things never seem to fucking work.
No one wants to be with someone who don't care, so say if you don't want me
You know I love you, I love being yo girl
But please don't do me any favors.
P.S. | BRIEF SOLANGE FASHION APPRECIATION HERE:
I fell in a Youtube black hole as one does... and I discovered Shan Boody!
The first video I clicked on: Sex Talk With My Parents.
Like probably most of her first time viewers, I was a bit thrown off with the topics of discussion and was like wait. a. minute! Shan is a clinical sexologist, a sex and love expert that gets deep on multiple topics under the umbrellas of sexuality and relationships and... I couldn’t stop watching. Soon into viewing I came to the conclusion of: Yes! This is a way of talking about sex that should exist, openly, honestly and educational with modern and familiar language. Of course sex is a thing that is usually very intimate and private but almost the entire population takes part in it and shares some of the same experiences, thoughts, and questions. We should be moving away from it being so shunned and taboo of a topic.
Having open conversation about it not only makes sense and I’m sure avoids so many missteps and regrets but also dispels the risqué and shame around a normal, human act (especially for women). Sexual desires are normal and open discussion promotes self discovery and can serve as an act of learning about who you are, feeling comfortable with that and learning to understand others.
Now I won’t be running to talk to my parents about my sex life anytime soon BUT I am encouraged to be less uncomfortable about my sexuality. I think if I had access to something like this when I was younger it would have been so beneficial but still is.
Some note worthy things from Shan Boody’s videos:
1. If you’re figuring out your sexuality, don't feel pressured to commit to an identity of "what you are." Be kind and patient with your self.
2. A great partner (in life and the bedroom) gives you the space to be imperfect, listens and wants to learn.
3. Don't bring your insecurities into the bedroom!
And 4. | Last but not least, my favorite: You can have several soul mates. Some people were meant to be in your life at certain time to serve a purpose that may not be everlasting love but were beautiful and beneficial to your woman/manhood.
So get into Shan Boody because she contagiously inspires confidence and serves great gems at the same time.
An impromptu photoshoot with my dear friend Teadae with a LOVEvanka spin.
I thought that I was dreaming When you said you loved me It started from nothing I had no chance to prepare I couldn't see you coming It started from nothing I could hate you now It's quite alright to hate me now When we both know that deep down The feeling still deep down is good
If I could see through walls I could see you're faking If you could see my thoughts You would see our faces Safe in my rental like an armored truck back then We didn't give a fuck back then I ain't a kid no more We'll never be those kids again We'd drive to Syd's, had the X6 back then Back then No matter what I did My waves wouldn't dip back then Everything sucked back then We were friends I thought that I was dreaming When you said you loved me It started from nothing I had no chance to prepare I couldn't see you coming It started from nothing I could hate you now It's quite alright to hate me now But we both know that deep down The feeling still deep down is good In the halls of your hotel Arm around my shoulder so I could tell How much I meant to you...meant it sincere back then We had time to kill back then You ain't a kid no more We'll never be those kids again It's not the same, ivory's illegal Don't you remember? I broke your heart last week You'll probably feel better by the weekend Still remember, had you going crazy Screaming my name The feeling deep down is good I thought that I was dreaming When you said you loved me It started from nothing I had no chance to prepare Couldn't see you coming And we started from nothing I could hate you now It's alright to hate me now We both know that deep down The feeling still deep down is good All the things I didn't mean to say I didn't mean to do There were things you didn't need to say Did you need to...need to I could dream all night Dream all night I could drive all night Drive all night Dreaming, dreamin' IVY by Frank Ocean.
The pain that these unjustified murders happen.
The pain that there isn't any justice for said murders.
The pain that so many people need an explanation, ven diagram and a thesis to be convinced as to why these murders are not justified, even when there is VIDEO footage.
The pain that some are silent and couldn't careless because it doesn't effect them.
We internalize this totality of pain over and over and then have to go out into the world and function.
Function in a world despite it saying to you that you do not matter.
Years and years of trauma.
Years and years of seeing the most horrifying images met with the most horrifying comments.
I numbly say, I am slim to none on hope. America is pretty fucked.
Every time "we must make a change." Yet nothing changes.
Remember when A CHILD was shot down in 2.5 second AND no justice.
Hope is out of sight tonight.
On probably my third or fourth time to LA, I remember Tyler the Creator and some of his weirdo clique standing behind me in line at Roscoes waiting to pay. We made eye contact for a second and then I turned back around waiting for my bill. I didn't have much of an opinion of him, wasn't that much of a fan of his music, outside of a few singles. I was neutral, I just thought he was a young leader of mischief.
Now some years later, something prompted me to click on a live stream link to his GOLF fashion show. I was immediately blown away at the opening, the natural chill vibe of all the models, the skits, and his custom designed, oversized Coca Cola inspired chairs ("big enough so two people can fit in it on some romantic shit.") I. want. one. And to top it all off, the guy also gave away a free pair of shoes from his Golf Le Fleur line to every guest in attendance.
So in 2016, I realized Tyler is a super ill designer and I'm kinda excited to see what else he has up his sleeve.
On another note, Tyler created this fly collection of clothes and shoes, seemingly unaffiliated or under any other major brand and I can't help but wonder why this was so difficult for Kanye? (no shade, real question) What did he do that Kanye couldn't, or differently?
I'm either becoming very realistic or very pessimistic about love.
Over the last several months I've had severals discussions with friends about monogamy, about relationships, open relationships, marriage, cheating and it has me all wondering are forever-monogamous relationships and marriage things that can actually be successful? We all know people who have divorced, we all know people in unhappy marriages. I know more of these folks than I do folks that are happily married.
The thought of it is great, and pretty and makes us warm but it's hitting me that "forever" is a long time to make a monogamous relationship work. As I get older I lean towards the idea of being with a man that I love, adore, respect, connect to, having a baby or babies and making the partnership work for forever or for as long as it works, could be 10 years, 25... could be forever.
But sometimes I get glimpses of innnnnn love couples and I think damn... maybe I WOULD want to cement a relationship into forever-ness with someone one day.
But can it really last forever??
Is it as simple as two people wanting those ideals, believing in that, creating that world for themselves and committing to each other? Things could start off that way, with that mutual "forever" commitment... but we all know how life happens it completely flips you on your head, blindsides you and 10 years later you're a completely different person, with different opinions than when you made that vow to someone. Recently Fader Mag interviewed Eyrkah Badu on the cusp of her last birthday and it documented a moment of her co-parenting with Andre 3000.
"Later in the afternoon, Badu will meet up with Seven and André—Badu calls her co-parent her “best friend for the past almost 20 years.” An Atlanta native, André moved to Dallas after their son entered high school. The three plan to visit a Buddhist temple to see a priest who gave Seven and André a reading a few weeks ago."
This doesn't sound horrible. The two were (seemingly) in love once upon a time and now they're not. They're great friends with a cool child. They had a great love and moved on.
Am I just being a jaded New Yorker about this? Am I just a child of divorce? Have couples made me cringe in Target as they argue about shower curtains one too many times? Have I been in one too many unstable relationships? Maybe I just haven't met someone I wouldn't mind spending forever with? I don't know... just another thing I realize I'm absolutely undecided about mid/almost late twenties.
Your mid/late twenties are funny because up until your early 20s you think you know so much about what you want and who you are and how life is gonna go, how poppin' you're going to be and then life happens, your world expands and you're like 'Oh shit I actually don't know anything about anything. Who am I? What do I want my life to be.' The pressure can actually be pretty overwhelming, dare I say a more intense version of puberty?
I think I just may be on the dawn of defining myself again or carving myself out more. Is this actually how the rest of life is? Constantly realizing you don't know shit and stabilizing yourself? Old folks, blink twice if the answer is yes. Will I be writing "Lost 40 Something Chronicles" one day?
Looking at the deep, dropped every time.
I wanted to walk with you.
'All I wanted was the dream of being in love with you.'
But the dusk is here, and the stars look fine.
So, don't call me, don't do me any favors.
I couldn’t tell you how I found this, how I got here… but I adore it.
A Short Film by Kwesi Abbensetts featuring Lili Lopez.
I found Joyce Wrice while traveling through Soundcloud some months ago and almost instantly became enamored. I feel like it's been a while since I've heard a female with such a soft, pretty sound, kind of reminded me of Brandy or Teedra Moses. Vulnerable but still very confident and sultry. About a month ago I saw her perform at a Soulection show at the Regent and my appreciation multiplied.
Let's cuff this vibe.
Warm and properI'm listening to your skin, inhaling this mood in prep for the take off
I wrote your name for months
I'll write your name for months
My god, when I reminisce over you
And you look like the dawn.
You know the sun is my favoriteBathing in the glare.
You are floating.I'm breathing easy...So just call me.- vanks.
In the midst of queen Solange letting her thoughts off on NY Times writer Jon Caramanica late last night, she reminded me of Brandy's iconic-ness. Thus, I ended up in a deep Brandy Youtube hole. I remember my teenage eyes tearing up as Have You Ever? got me in my feelings over my first love. And I think I also sent I Wanna Be Down to said "first love" as a symbol of my crushin.' I first discovered Angel In Disguise way after it came out and I treated it like golden treasure, not letting go of it for dayssss. The woman deserves any/all the musical praise she gets because... #vocals!
(In more #BrandyAppreciation, Saint-Heron just did a sit down with Brandy delving into the making of her major Full Moon album.)